Posts Tagged: "Questions"

Getting Over My Hatred For Small Talk Means I Need Better Questions

As an introvert, small talk is my kryptonite. I can literally feel the life draining out of me as I’m hit with, “What do you do for a living?” or “Did you see that Mariner’s game last night?” or “How you doing, Bro?” What usually follows are some quick answers, awkward pauses, and a drummed-up reason why I gotta leave now.

I should probably take a class on social graces.

Even among my own tribe—pastors—I fail miserably with small talk. After every conference, I think about how annoying and predictable the conversations were (How you doing, Bro? How’s the church? You guys growing?)… and then I tell myself I need to come prepared with 2 or 3 interesting things to say.

The truth is, I would love to circumvent small talk altogether and move right into some real, true, deep stuff (How has your theology changed in the past few years? What’s one thing you’re too scared to change at your church but you really wish you could? What hurts in your life right now?).

Of course, I have a weird and goofy side too. Sometimes I want to ask… Read More

Questions For Team Members

- - Life With God, Uncategorized

Good questions outrank easy answers. —Paul Samuelson

We did something new today. Our core team met – not for business or administrative reasons – but to give some time and space for us to open up together. I wrote a list of 9 questions. I shared those questions with our team and asked them to each pick one to answer in our meeting.

It was a breath of fresh air for me. There were honest answers. There were tears. And we spent some time praying for each other.

Here are the 9 questions…

What made you… Read More

A Place From Which Life Can Be Viewed & Lived More Redemptively

I recently read (and absolutely loved) a book by David Dark called The Sacredness of Questioning Everything. Among the many sections I highlighted in the book is this line:

For some, their religion is nothing more than a special interest group, a bastion of offendedness and anger, the powerhouse of the saved – rather than a place from which life can be viewed and lived more redemptively.

I want… Read More

Are We Big Enough For Questions? Do We Remain Capable Of Conversation?

*picture above: playing dominoes with my friend (and partner for the game) Anthony

*     *     *     *

A few weeks ago, I went to a birthday party for my friend Anthony. Somehow I got the time mixed up (probably because I didn’t ask the right questions ahead of time) and arrived a good hour early to the party. There were a few other family members who had arrived early too – so Anthony suggested we sit down and play a game of dominoes.

Anthony and I were partners – we played against Andy and LaVelle. I sat down and pretended like I knew what I was doing. But here’s the thing: I have never played dominoes in my life. I had zero knowledge of the rules. I sat and pretended, copied, and stumbled my way through two games.

And I made my team lose. Why? Because I didn’t ask questions.

*     *     *     *

 I’ve talked with a friend before about longing for safe places where anything can be… Read More

From Addie Zierman: 10 Questions To Ask Instead Of “How’s Your Walk With God?”

I loved this post from Addie Zierman: 10 Questions to Ask Instead of “How’s Your Walk With God?” Here are a few of my favorite lines…

It’s a subtle shift in language, but an important one. After all, there are a million miles between what should be and what is, and so many of the Christian Living books and blogs and music and “devotions” out there focus on the former.

Believe me, I’m acutely aware of all of the ways I’m not measuring up.

I don’t need seven simple steps toward a vibrant spiritual life – seven more ways to fail. I don’t even really need an “accountability partner,” that churchy staple – to ask prod me toward more intentional time in the Word and in prayer.

do need people to ask me questions and to move alongside of me in my spiritual journey. But I need those questions to be asked with exceptional gentleness and care, without agenda, making room for me to recognize that God is already here. God is already at work. 

I think this is something that each of us needs, but it’s particularly important for those like me, who are… Read More

A True Story About Pizza, Tipping, And The Cost Of Not Being Able To Be Questioned

The following is a true story…

In a land far, far away (Yakima, Washington), I was riding high. My youth ministry was the biggest thing in town and we were on the verge of launching another service at Central Washington University. I had several employees working for me and a crazy band of leaders who would do just about anything for the cause.

Great things were happening. We were making a difference in the lives of young people and it was having an impact on our city.

Also, I was full of myself. I felt successful and was… Read More

The Beauty Of The Flaw

Some dear friends of mine have recently gone though an incredibly tragic and painful experience. Along with them, I want to know “Why?” I want answers. Conclusions. Resolutions. And I know there are none.

Although there are no satisfying answers, I do believe beauty rises from our suffering – but just not quickly.

It will come, in its own time. So in the meantime, we sit in the pain and learn how to manage with it.

While reading Beauty —The Invisible Embrace I was reminded again of the promise from God that beauty will rise from our ashes.

In the words of John O’Donohue… Read More