The Underbelly Of (Christian) Leadership

Several years ago, I read the book “Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership” by Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima. To be honest, the big idea of the book scandalized me. Basically it said,

You know that thing about you that you’re known for? The thing that makes you strong and effective? That gift, strength, or disposition you have that comes naturally to you—especially in your work? Yeah, well, it has an evil twin. For every strength you have, there is a shadowy dark side that goes with it.

Dang. Ouch. REALLY??!!!?!

This can’t be true about ME.

I guess it’s pretty easy to see this at play in others, but it’s not so fun to think about it in my own life.

For instance, it’s obvious to me that Jeff Lewis (from TV’s Flipping Out) has a strength in being meticulously detailed. It is this strength that has caused him to become enormously successful as an interior designer. And the underbelly of that strength? His meticulous nature means he is often an impossible-to-please micromanager.

jeff-lewis-flipping-out-bravo-march-26

Have you thought about this before?

Every leadership strength has an evil twin—a shadowy dark side.

For example…

The “strong leader” sometimes becomes a “tyrant.”

The “decisive leader” can be “bossy.”

The “thorough leader” can be “nitpicky.”

The “free-spirited, fun leader” can be “lazy.”

The “charismatic leader” is often “egotistical.”

The “passionate leader” quickly becomes “volatile.”

The “confident leader” can be “arrogant.”

The “reserved leader” is also “aloof.”

The “imaginative leader” can be “eccentric.”

The “leader with high standards” is regularly “impossible to please.”

Like I said, it’s pretty easy to see this in others, but it’s not so fun to think about it in my own life.

I’d rather think about how this applies to Howard Shultz or Hillary Clinton or Kanye West…

But that’s not the point. The point is to recognize my own dark side so I can deal with it in a (hopefully) healthy way.

When I look a the list above, I see myself. I see that I am imaginative, reserved, strong, and have high standards. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? I think it does. I like (that version of) me.

The underbelly isn’t so fun to look at though. I can see my shadowy dark side in that list also, the evil twin that goes along with each of my strengths… I see that I am eccentric, aloof, a tyrant, and can be impossible to please.

Yikes. Anyone interested in working with me?

Although it’s not fun to take a close look at the underbelly of my own leadership, it is vital, necessary, healthy. I can’t do anything about it as long as I’m denying it exists.

Honest acknowledgment of the dark side of our leadership strengths is the first step.

 

QUESTIONS: Did you see yourself in the list? Does the dark side description apply? Are there any leadership strengths / leadership dark sides you would add to my list?

This is part 2 of a 3-part series on The Dark Side of Leadership Strengths. Check out yesterday’s “Ego, Ambition, & Holy Calling” post – and come back tomorrow for “Doing Great Things Without Becoming Darth Vader.”

 

I am a husband, father, pastor, leader & reader. I love God, love people & love life.

4 Comments to The Underbelly Of (Christian) Leadership

  1. Being a people person, the underbelly for me is being addicted to the feeling that everyone likes you. When someone is unhappy with me it has the power to derail me. Good for me I have sensible, steady you to help me when that happens. :)

  2. Yikes, I find myself in quite a few of these (not so fun ones), and yes, they ring true.

    PS. I really like Jeff Lewis, he’s a funny guy…and I’m happy to serve under you AND your quirky strengths.

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