WHITE KNUCKLE RIDE

Here is a sneak peek at chapter 3 of the book I wrote this summer (hopefully coming soon)…

White knuckle ride, I’m on it. It’s not so easy to control, pressure. It’s not so easy to control, pressure. There’s no easy way to make it better. —Jamiroquai (White Knuckle Ride)

Then wolves will live in peace with lambs, and leopards will lie down to rest with goats. Calves, lions, and young bulls will eat together, and a little child will lead them. —Isaiah (Isaiah 11.6 NCV)

3. KNUCKLES

I’m not much of a thrill-seeker; I’m no adrenaline junkie. In fact, there are more theme park rides that I won’t go on than I will. I have rules for this: no rides that go upside down, no spinning, and no motion simulators. Basically, if the ride goes fast and in a straight line, I’m in.

I think my daughter has inherited my boring sensibilities.

Recently, while at Disneyland, we went on the Indiana Jones ride. She was white-knuckled the whole way. When we got off the ride, I asked her, “Did you like the ride?”

Ashah said, “No! I had my head down and eyes closed the whole time. And then when I finally did open my eyes, it was the worst part—that big boulder thing was rolling toward us.”

What a funny way to experience a theme park ride – head down, eyes closed, white knuckles. I think we sometimes go through life that way too.

WHEN A GANGSTER WALKS BY

While on the Brooklyn ministry trip, I was assigned to visit a neighborhood in the projects. These towering buildings with hundreds of low-income, government subsidized apartments were clustered around a park. Our job was to visit the kids from these buildings who participate in Yogi Bear Sunday School.

These projects were heartbreaking and you could sense the hopelessness there. The buildings and surroundings were dark, cold, and impersonal. There were no flowers blooming, no welcome mats at the doors. Instead, there were bars on the windows and gang sign graffiti on the walls.

Violence and crime are the way of life there. And we were there to love the kids growing up in this grim reality.

The Metro Ministries staff member I came with had a “divide and conquer” game plan. She would do visits in half the buildings, and I would do the other half. She assigned Damien, a ten year-old boy who lived in those projects, to help me out.

Damien was quiet and somewhat timid, but helpful. He knew the kids in the buildings. With Damien’s help, we made it to all the apartments and visited with all the families on our list. We even finished our visits before the Metro Ministries staff member completed hers, so we waited in the park for about thirty minutes.

While sitting on a bench in the park, we talked about life: basketball, food, school, church, family, and rap music. As we chatted, Damien suddenly stopped and froze. His face became pale, body tense, and he looked noticeably shaken. Damien’s hands gripped the bench and his knuckles were white. He seemed to be paralyzed with fear. Something was wrong.

He whispered, “Don’t say anything. Just look down. That guy walking towards us is a gang member. His gang shot and killed someone last week. I’m scared.”

My only guide to this New York City war zone was a frightened ten year-old boy. I trusted he knew what he was talking about. He obviously wasn’t exaggerating or playing tricks on me. He was genuinely frightened, and I could see Damien was hoping to ride through this storm unharmed.

It’s funny how moments like these, although only a matter of seconds or minutes, can seem like they last forever. Damien, in his paralyzed state, was my mentor—and I followed his example. I looked down. I didn’t speak or move.

Time passed ever so slowly.

Nothing happened.

With the gang member now completely out of sight, we breathed and relaxed and spoke again. We had survived the storm.

Before long, the Metro Ministries staff member arrived, and we were off to our next adventure in Brooklyn.

LOOK UP AND SMILE

I’ll never know how much of a threat that gang member really was to us. Would he even bother people like us? Did he care about the bald man and ten year-old kid sitting on the park bench in Brooklyn? Did we have any reason to fear? Were the white knuckles necessary?

I really don’t know. We both had our Yogi Bear T-shirts and lanyards on. I tend to think it would’ve been fine to just look up and smile at the approaching gang member.

In fact, that’s my plan: the next time I run across a gang member who was recently involved in some sort of a shooting or stabbing, I’m going to look up and smile. Really. Why not?

You see, I don’t want to live paralyzed with fear.

I’m still not going to choose theme park rides that spin, go upside down, or are the motion simulator types, because I don’t consider throwing up a way to have a good time…

But I don’t want to go through life with my head down, eyes closed, all white-knuckled.

I know I can’t control the outcome, but I can choose to live as a lamb at peace among the wolves. If I get eaten, so be it. But until that happens, my plan is to look up and smile.

After all, Jesus promised peace and told us not to live in fear…

“Peace is what I’m giving; peace from me to you. This is not something the world has to offer. So don’t live paralyzed with fear; there’s no need for white-knuckles with me.” (John 14.27 paraphrased)

I’m convinced God does not want us to go through life with our heads down and eyes closed for the entire ride. It’s time to look up, smile, and enjoy the ride!

 YOUR TURN: Have you ever been paralyzed with fear, only to realize later that response wasn’t necessary? Why is “looking up and smiling” so difficult at times? What does choosing to live as “a lamb at peace with the wolves” look like?

I am a husband, father, pastor, leader & reader. I love God, love people & love life.

3 Comments to WHITE KNUCKLE RIDE

  1. Everyday at work I’m afraid they’ll find out I have no idea what I’m doing … But, around 20 years ago I simply decided that even if I was afraid to try something new or different or even challenging I was going to give it a go. I lived most of my life thinking I was inadequate and afraid of being humiliated. But I wasn’t having any fun either. While I often have to remind myself of that pledge I’ve pretty much stuck with it. A bonus is now that I’ve actually tried sushi I can say I don’t like it and mean it

  2. To Norm–Sushi’s not so bad, without the seaweed and with infrequency (like when Retta is home). To Brian–Where is that roller coaster that’s at the top of your post? I want to ride it! My sense of adventure has a lot to do with hikes, rollercoasters and unfamiliar roads.

    What terrifies me? Disapproval, criticism, and putting myself ‘out there’ where I might be open to either. Especially if it is something near and dear to me–probably why I have struggled with my (unpractical) artistic side. New situations and responsibilities scare me, where I have no idea what I’m doing or have no training for. Things like having oversight of the nursery, new job situations, jumping into a farmer’s market as a vendor; all three of these I’ve walked with fear and trembling in the past year. In all of this, I have relied on fervent prayer, and trust that God won’t throw me to the wolves for jollies. He hasn’t yet, and I have survived it all. I get wrapped up in the terror of how I must appear to others, what they may think of me and making a fool of myself to be ridiculed, instead of what God’s word says about stepping out of the boat onto the water; what it says about His grace being sufficient, His redemption complete, and His work in me being brought to completion. getting wrapped up in my own self-centered fear keeps me from looking up and smiling”

    As far as “lambs among wolves”–I’m not sure what that looks like, since I try my best to stay out of those situations. But it probably has a lot to do with that “peace beyond comprehension” that comes from knowing God intimately and having the unreasonable trust that comes from that relationship.

  3. Ok, just one last comment on your blog this morning, and then I’ve gotta be doing some errands lol :-) I have felt paralyzing fear before, yes. The kind where the whole body feels like it cannot move, or even think of moving. A few times that’s happened. I think that as I look back on it, the fear seems disproportionate to the actual danger. Because, as I know, it all worked out fine. So it was probably unnecissary. But at the time, I don’t think I could have stopped myself from feeling fear, because it was completely overtaking. So I just waited it out and prayed really really hard lol..::shudder:: it’s scary just thinking about it..

    As for having difficulty looking up & smiling, i think it is absolutely dependent on the person.

    And for the meaning of the “lambs among wolves” illustration, I believe it can have many meanings. It kinda reminds me of the psalm, where it says “That he prepares a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. Welcoming me there as a guest, anointing my head with oil.” and talks about leading beside still waters, and making a resting place in green pastures…. There’s something about the weak & vulnerable being in a harmonious relationship with predatory ones, where there was no sense of danger. Whatever it means, I like it because it’s a very reassuring thing to meditate on.

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