Posts Tagged: "love"

And What Do We Have Here?

I remember years ago hearing leadership guru John Maxwell talking about “Putting a ’10′ on everyone’s head.” He was encouraging us to see people as valuable, worthy of our time and attention.

Then yesterday, I watched the first episode of the newly released Black Mirror (season 3) on Netflix. Black Mirror is often described as a modern day Twilight Zone – giving us creepy glimpses of how technology might lead us down a wrong path. This new episode features Lacie—who appears to be a nice, but too sugary-sweet, fake, an annoyingly earnest woman who seems to be doing everything she can to climb the social-standing ladder.

Quickly, you notice Lacie giving and receiving star-ratings on her smart phone with every in-person human interaction. At first, you assume it’s an app that everyone is using… like Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. But then you begin to realize it’s the actual person who is receiving a score: 0 to 5 based on observation or interaction.

Then you discover the power of these ratings. The lease is up on Lacie’s apartment – so she is looking for a new place to stay. When she finds the perfect place, it is just beyond her reach financially… but the agent tells her there is a discount for people with a 4.5 rating. She asks Lacie what her rating is. Lacie is a 4.2, which is respectable, but not quite upper level. The agent encourages Lacie to work on increasing her rating.

Lacie is focused. She’s handing out 5-star ratings left-and-right to everyone she encounters – hoping they will return the favor. But not everyone does, and her score still hoovers below the upper level. Then, when her flight is cancelled and she can’t make it to an important event (with a bunch of 4.5′s and higher), Lacie cracks. She swears at the desk clerk at the airport. Security comes and docks her rating a full point as punishment for her behavior.

Her world is spiraling down along with her score… her worth, value, opportunity, and social standing.

For a more complete review of this Black Mirror episode, check out this article from The Verge.

lacie from black mirror for post

 

With Halloween right around the corner, I’ve been thinking about all the little characters who will show up on our doorsteps. We open our doors, and survey the group of trick-or-treaters… “And what do we have here?” we ask. “Oh, I see the Hulk. And a scary monster! Is that a police man? And the princess from Frozen… what’s her name?”

We pay attention. We recognize the costumes and affirm the children. “Beautiful. I love it! Wow.” And then we bless them (give them candy).

This kind of attentiveness, or beholding, is powerful.

We are taking the time to see the image they are projecting, the costume they are wearing, and we accept them—as they are. I believe this shouldn’t happen only on October 31. And I believe it shouldn’t only happen with… Read More

Learning To Listen

- - Life With God, Uncategorized

From Trevor Hudson’s book A Mile in My Shoes: Cultivating Compassion.

We grow toward Christlikeness as we become more caring. A non-caring Christ-follower is a contradiction in terms. However, we cannot show real concern, especially for those in pain, unless we first take time to listen.

We can only love those to whom we genuinely listen.

For this reason, if we intend to put our lives alongside those who suffer and reflect to them the compassion of Christ, our presence must always be a listening one. This could be why James encouraged his readers to “be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1.19).

Christians are not well known for their listening.

Often our own inability to listen well has made others feel isolated, unaccepted, and unloved. Thankfully, we can all learn to listen better. While few people seem naturally gifted as listeners, most of us need to develop this vital gateway to compassion. Few activities require as much energy, effort, and patience. Involving at least three basic steps, good listening enables us to grow in the Compassionate Way.

1. Stop Talking.

2. Give total attention to the one speaking.

3. Communicate understanding of what is shared.

Against the backdrop of these basic guidelines, I invite you to asses the quality of your current listening ability.

Growing in self-awareness about our listening ability often initiates a fresh commitment to become a better listener. Here are ten straightforward yes or no questions to consider. A positive answer to any number of them could… Read More

Do You Know What God Dreams About?

*this post comes from Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s children’s book God’s Dream

 

Dear child of God, what do you dream about in your loveliest of dreams? Do you dream about flying high or rainbows reaching across the sky?

Do you dream about being free to do what your heart desires? Or about being treated like a full person no matter how young you might be?

Do you know what God dreams about? If you close your eyes and look with your heart, I am sure, dear child, that you will find out.

God dreams about… Read More

The Point Of Being Human Is…

From Dr. David G. Benner’s book Surrender To Love: Discovering The Heart Of Christian Spirituality

Transformation into love is a shift from focus on me to an awareness of the greater we.

Egocentricity and its bondage of self is always the enemy of love.

Conversion points us toward fellow human beings, not simply toward God. Like the grain of wheat that must fall into the earth and die if it is to flourish, the person who is becoming love leaves behind the broken husk of the isolated self and embraces the new possibilities of life in the human community.

Self-interest suffocates life. Life implodes when self-interest is at the core. This is why the kingdom of self is based on death.

Ultimately, taking care of Number One takes care of no one.

For the only way to truly care for myself is to… Read More

Loving People Means Divesting Ourselves of Status

*picture above: Henri Nouwen, attempting to ride a skateboard

 

On Sunday, my sermon was about “leadership” – I was attempting to point out that the world’s idea of leadership doesn’t hold much water in the kingdom of God. The big idea of the message, the call to action, was to “base my leadership success on how well I am following and imitating Jesus.”

At the end of the 5pm service when Shari came up to join me and say some stuff… well, what she said was better than the message. She talked about a young woman named Chelsea, who is a… Read More

I Wouldn’t Even Mind If You Read These Three Posts (They’re Not Mine)

I wouldn’t even mind if you read these three posts (they’re not mind). Actually, I’d love for you to read them. And I kinda think you will love reading them. Um, what are you waiting for???!!?!

 

benjamin coreyThis post, A Few Things I’ve Learned As A Christian Outsider, by Benjamin Corey. Here’s a brief sample: “Theological labels have a way of making us crazy– we allow them to define us, give us identity, give our lives meaning, and all kind of other things that ultimately take the place I’ve learned only Jesus can fill.”

To Do Ordinary Things With Extraordinary Love

Jean Vanier is the 85 year old Canadian philosopher, theologian, and humanitarian who is most known for founding the L’Arche communities. L’Arch (French for “the ark”) began in 1964 when Jean Vanier took two men with disabilities into his home in the town of Trosly-Brevil, France. It is now an international organization operating some 146 communities in 35 countries.

He has quickly become one of my favorite authors. Here are a few quotes from his book, Community and Growth

“To love someone is to show to them their beauty, their worth and their importance.”

“A Christian community should do as Jesus did: propose and not impose. Its attraction must lie in the… Read More