That is more than likely why in AA they set the foundation of safety first so surrender is easy. A surrendered life requires honesty. I often wonder about all the people in the bible that approached Jesus for a miracle and what their position on honesty and authenticity was in those moments. It would seem to me that each was willing to take the mask off as to say here I am this is me this is the truth of who I am, what I have done, what I am dealing with and what I am going through. So getting to Jesus required mask removal in that moment. When Jesus spoke the truth was He brutally honest at times? Yes. Did the truth hurt sometimes? Yes. Did the truth set many free? Yes. But, He was skillful at it. He created an environment of safety first so people felt at ease to approach Him.

He did this by:
1. Establishing relations by hanging out with them (sinners)
2. He did not judge or condemn (His opinion of their condition)
3. He healed them all (met their need)
4. And when He saw them He had compassion (His behavior toward them)
5. Feed them (cared for them)

I am sure there are more that I have missed but the point is He created an environment of safety through action where honesty and taking off the mask was not only OK but in some ways you could say was a required risk in order to approach and ask Him for something.

I am somewhat convinced that people that take issue with honest people are at times reacting negatively because the honest person is projecting to them their worst fear and that is if you take off the mask then that means I will have to take off mine and I don’t want to reveal what is hidden so I am adverse to honesty and authenticity because it forces my hand to be played and for me to put my cards on the table. So keep your mask on so I can keep mine on.

Honesty is restorative when the environment of safety is present. The girl in the office felt she was in a safe place, free of judgement and fully accepted that allowed her to share and reveal her condition with honesty, authenticity and sincerity. Can honesty be brutal? absolutely but if you have the skill of Jesus telling the truth won’t bother you nor will it be a problem when in the context of love and grace in a safe place. I can only imagine what the early church must have looked like as they practiced “confessing their sins one to another so that they may be healed”. Maybe the world would come running to the church if they could see that that is who we really are. Just a thought.

I’m looking for something more like, “It’s ok with me that I might be considered a fool for expressing myself with authenticity. It seems better to feel judged for what I am, than to feel enslaved by a system which says there is no Need for me to be real, and nothing to be Learned from an imperfect opinion.”

Yeah, that’s a little more like it.

Regardless of what happens though, I think it is important for all of us to be honest about who we are, and what we experience and think. I’d rather feel like a fool for saying something stupid, than feel like a slave to a system which says I have no right to be real, or have an imperfect opinion.

I’ve held onto a tidbit from a sermon from a while back – hurting people help heal people (or something like that). We relate. God is right there with us, He understands pain, sorrow, and loss and yet He is the almighty healer – amazing .

Thank you for the wisdom shared here – “It boils down to daily dependence on God, Holy Spirit guidance, soft heart, and willingness to repent when we screw up.”

I love this Cathy. Appreciate you adding to the conversation.