Comments on: I Feel Alone

By: Nicole Gillam

Nicole Gillam — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 22:59:27 +0000

Thank you Angela! You and DJ have been so welcoming to Jason and me

By: Cindy Holman

Cindy Holman — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 16:26:25 +0000

Your post is very refreshing. I have felt many of these things over the years. It wasn’t until we left full time church ministry that I was really able to identify some of my feelings by starting a blog. I too am an introvert, finding a “recharge” by being alone with my thoughts and away from people who add so much drama and chaos to my world. And like you, I have never liked staff gatherings, women’s retreats and being on the platform. I was forced into all these things because that’s what pastor’s wives and good musicians do. I could always tell something was different for me. Everyone around me used to get charged up and ready for more when we would do a singing Christmas tree or Easter production – and I was always relieved, exhausted and counting the hours when the madness would be over. People still disappoint me. These are not things you can just admit. At least not in my world. But having you say them is so freeing. I understand you and those like you, more than you think. Thanks.

By: I Want To Be Alone | Northwest Leader - Brian Dolleman

I Want To Be Alone | Northwest Leader - Brian Dolleman — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 15:05:30 +0000

[…] post “I Feel Alone” might have sounded like a complaint. It wasn’t meant to be one. I intended it to be a […]

By: Angela

Angela — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 02:53:54 +0000

Nicole – I told DJ just the other day after our Life Group how much I like you. I love having you and your family in our home, love chatting with you about how you and Jason met and the different places you have worked, and I love watching our girls play together.
You’re so kind, attentive, and helpful and I love that about you. You also make the very most yummiest of treats

So although you’ve always wished you could be the kind of person that people love to be around – in my opinion, you already are.

By: Brian Dolleman

Brian Dolleman — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 00:31:01 +0000

Thank you Robb. You’re very kind & I find your encouragement to be liberating – “from us to you, it’s OK.” I wasn’t fishing for praise or validation, but your comment made writing this post totally worth it.

By: Robb

Robb — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 00:01:45 +0000

I love this blog.

I am very much like this myself. I hate small talk. I am not the life of the party. Ever. I’m the guy holding up the wall.

I hate entertaining large groups. I love intimate conversation.

Most people really don’t know this about me. I’m fantastic at small talk, I move around groups of people extremely well. All of this has come through and extremely painstaking process of self development.

Now that I have done this though I find I talk too much and that I actually crave silence. I long to be the guy who is seen and not heard. I only want to talk when I have something very important or very valuable to say. I want to be wise with my mouth.

What I really love about this post is that we all know this about you Brian, we actually talk about it. At least the people I talk with about you. We all know your sweet spot is preaching and writing. You delegate relationship building to Shari or people who are similar to you that you don’t have to cut through 3 layers to actually have a meaningful conversation. And from us to you, it’s OK. We love and appreciate the gifts and talents God has at work in you not the ones He doesn’t.

In your brokenness, you are extremely influential and have raised a ton of leaders. Many of those leaders are making a huge difference in their communities and even globally.

Keep being imperfect.

By: Katie Jones

Katie Jones — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 22:13:35 +0000

Sometimes I feel guilty about the need to be alone, but I’ve come to terms with how necessary it is for me. I do enjoy social settings where I know people, and I even hosting them, but when I’ve reached my limit, I sometimes disappear.

By: Brian Dolleman

Brian Dolleman — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 20:17:40 +0000

Sometimes when I have to go to a party & I know people will ask me questions about whatever (family, job, church, adventures, etc.), I plan and rehearse what I will say. It kind of helps me – & I think it’s a little better than stalling out with nothing to say. It doesn’t make me feel any less anxious or awkward though.

By: Brian Dolleman

Brian Dolleman — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 20:13:00 +0000

Yeah – I know what you’re saying Chris. I despise shallow conversations & long to open up… but in order to really do that, I have to feel safe. In a relationship where there is trust and understanding, I’m eager to dive right in and talk about the deeper and more meaningful things.

By: Nicole Gillam

Nicole Gillam — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 19:45:09 +0000

I can totally relate to this. I have an extremely hard time developing close friendships because I have a lot of social anxiety….when I am around people my mind goes blank – I don’t know what to say, so I often say nothing even though I really want to. Its not that there is nothing to me or that I don’t have interesting thoughts – I just have a hard time engaging with people. I’ve always wanted and wished I could be that super fun person that everyone loves to be around – but that just isn’t me and never will be I’m sure. To be honest, I haven’t found a way to cope with this issue – I just keep “working at it” and hope for small steps of improvement