Comments on: Maybe Disappointment Is OK After All

By: When God Disappoints - Northwest Leader - Brian Dolleman

When God Disappoints - Northwest Leader - Brian Dolleman — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 17:13:31 +0000

[…] is part 2 of 3 posts this week. Come back tomorrow for “Maybe Disappointment is OK After All” and check out yesterday’s “Life Is […]

By: Brian Dolleman

Brian Dolleman — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 16:44:11 +0000

Thank you so much Jodi!

By: Jodi Detrick

Jodi Detrick — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 07:15:20 +0000

Hey Pastor Brian,
Just had to pop in and say how much I LOVE this piece…it is a painful, but healing, truth. I sometimes think we misunderstand Jesus’ promise of abundant life, thinking it means “more of all the things I want most.” But what if it means a bigger, deeper, more complex life, textured with layers of beauty, struggle, and pain that enlarge our souls and give a real heft of meaning to our otherwise “light-weight” spirits. Abundance might even mean more disappointment at times; but even then, we are not without hope (which grows in the strangest places and ways, I find).

Brian, I am a big fan of your writing and have intended to tell you so for some time now. Keep it up–your voice is needed!! (I’m also a big fan of your wife, by the way! That woman is amazing!!) Cheering you on!
~Jodi

By: Christina

Christina — Tue, 14 Jan 2014 15:46:13 +0000

As a young leader in church, I find it difficult when people will not reveal their disappointments and scars and either mask with a brave face or, like many teenagers I know, leave cryptic posts on Facebook that leave the reader confused. I am desperate to help these friends in my faith-community, wanting to support and love, wanting to pray them through or provide tangible aid, but they remain disconnected. I do wonder if it’s because my current season is disappointment-free, or because I’m viewed as too young, or maybe the faith-community I joined is still learning how to be a community.

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 14 Jan 2014 15:24:29 +0000

Thanks for keeping it real Brian. I am discovering that you can’t move passed disappointment until you admit it’s there and give yourself time to grieve. But most of the time we feel like we must suck it up and move on. Last week Dr. Gary McIntosh (author of The Dark Side of Leadership- a must read for pastors and leaders) said, “if you don’t deal with your pain, your pain will deal with you.” II appreciate your article because it helps us deal with the pain of disappointment that we all face on the journey. Keep writing!

By: Cindy Holman

Cindy Holman — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 16:09:40 +0000

Brian, I had a situation more than 5 years ago now that took me on a journey. It was painful and humiliating and I lost a very special friend. But it also made me very aware of others in pain. I admire those who walk the road with a limp and can still travel with joy and help others through the experience and wisdom that pain and loss bring. I no longer question why this happened but I’m thankful for it. There is no lesson quite like pain.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 06:47:13 +0000

I often wondered why God would allow us to continue to desire things He won’t seem to let us have. I feel like I could recover from disappointment faster and with more ease if the desire went away. It never does though and so it just ends up feeling torturous. I do believe I’ve become more compassionate as I’ve had to deal with some significant disappointments (infertility included). I haven’t yet healed to the place of sharing our story though. I feel like it has to have some victory at the end for someone to be encouraged by it. I’m not there yet. Thanks again for this series. It’s nice for someone to acknowledge these feelings exist without trying to pacify us with religious cliches or making us feel judged and nonspiritual.

By: Chris Bohannon

Chris Bohannon — Fri, 11 Oct 2013 05:07:05 +0000

All week I’ve been thinking about how when I talk to people at church and I express any feeling other than happiness… The response is always the same from the majority of people. “Smile and nod, say – Jesus will fix everything, and the church favorite – I’ll pray for you.” A smile and nod is good when a person feels good, not when their in pain. I remember a look that a woman I see as my mother used to give me and I knew that she understood and was willing to feel my pain along side me. When you say that Jesus will fix everything, it suddenly sounds like you don’t care enough to try yourself. When I love someone no matter how much or in what way I always want to save them from their pain. Saying I’ll pray for you is like an admittance that you either don’t want to try and help or that you expect Jesus to do everything. Sometimes Jesus expects people to intervene into anothers life. This is why I chose to hold onto my pain and never forget it. Because of the burden of pain around my neck, I’m always aware of the pain around me. Sometimes when people get caught up in the “Christian” life, they forget what real concern and empathy are like. It may be a fear of feeling pain because they hold on to happiness and don’t want it to go away. I remember that for the past three months at church I was the same way. Jesus didn’t say – you’re on your own. I think the way he would have put how he feels is – I’ll carry it with you. And in some cases, “I’ll carry you when you can’t walk anymore.” The more I hear a person’s pain, the more I grow to love them because I remember how human they are. This is all coming from an Atheist….

By: Brian Becker

Brian Becker — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:05:14 +0000

Matthew Barnett once said “The world is full of people who said ‘I quit’ reconsidered and changed the world.”

If we can accept disappointment, we can also consider life after disappointment – and hope exists to shine beyond what is, to what might be.

It’s quite possible that we can change the world – not in spite of disappointment – but because of it.

By: Juan Cuevas

Juan Cuevas — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 22:21:07 +0000

It is so awesome to read these and hear the reality of disappointment, and that its ok to be disappointed. I think I have always lived in fear that the amount of disappointment I have is directly proportionate to how little I trust Gods plan but this is just a continual reminder that in the midst of disappointment God is near!

Thanks for being so honest Pastor Brian! Such a refreshing three part series to read, and then to talk to God about! Thanks for your continual commitment to be real and raw and encourage those of us who may be in the midst of disappointment!